Why We Chose Life (instead of abortion)

“I am finding markers relating to Trisomy 18. You may have an abortion since it is still early and I will respect whatever decision you choose.” That is what my doctor told us. Of course, we said no and went on with the pregnancy. Before you begin, I highly recommend reading our “An Emotional Pregnancy” blog post. It explains a lot about our pregnancy and Harper’s diagnosis.

I first want to say that this is not a debate of pro-life and pro-abortion. I just want to inform others out there on why abortion is an option and why we chose life.

Secondly, I haven’t been a Christian my whole life. There was a point in my life where I left God on the side of the street and walked away. Meeting my husband helped guide me to run to God, pick him up, and take him out for a really nice dinner because I owed him one 🙂 With that being said, this isn’t going to be a post about “What would Jesus do?” and quoting every verse from the Bible.

 When you are pregnant with a baby that has a life-threatening disorder, most, if not all, doctors will give you the option to have an abortion. I feel like there are two types of doctors out in the world when it comes to the topic of abortion. There are the sympathetic doctors who know that is can be a very stressful time for the mother and the baby, and there are the scientific doctors who “know” the baby is going to die and would rather not put their time and effort into the baby’s life. Most of the time scientific doctors will make the parents see another doctor during the pregnancy. Luckily, we had a sympathetic doctor. He didn’t want us to go through the pain and heartache of not knowing when our baby’s heart would stop beating. But if you read our “An Emotional Pregnancy” blog post, you would know that he only asked us twice and then he stopped and began to be optimistic about our pregnancy.

When the talk about abortion came up, we immediately said no. Our decision wasn’t based off of God, the Bible, family, friends, right or wrong. We knew the only way to give her a chance to fight was to give her a chance at life. So we chose life, and she is fighting.

We didn’t know what her outcome would be and we still don’t.

There are two important things that matter:

1. She is living.

2. She is fighting.

If you have any specific questions to ask us about this topic, please do not hesitate to comment below, or message us on Facebook or Instagram.


5 thoughts on “Why We Chose Life (instead of abortion)

  1. Although I understand your emotionally empowered response (above), please know I am in total sympathy; however, thinking from your child’s point of view (if she could have one-at this early stage), I am in pain. How could you put this little angel in so much pain and in such a bleak future?


    1. If we are basing this off our pregnancy, towards the end of our pregnancy she looked great. The only thing that was wrong was that the amnio came back positive for T18. What if that test was wrong and our daughter was completely healthy? What if we aborted a completely healthy baby?
      But if we are basing it off now, how is she in pain and how does she have a bleak future? She might be developmentally behind but she’s no where close to being a vegetable.


    2. We carried our son with Trisomy 18 to term. Boys are often more severely impacted by this condition, and that was the case with Elijah. He lived for 7 hours. During that time he knew nothing but love and felt no physical pain. I am a pediatric healthcare provider and confident of this. We worked closely with a team of specialists who agreed, and we had a detailed care plan in place to treat any pain should he experience it.

      Taking our son’s life would not have diminished any of the pain of this difficult situation, but would have spared us the joy of the time spent with our son. We are at peace knowing he was loved, protected and cherished his whole natural life.

      As humans, nearly all of us face physical pain. I do not feel that is a reason to take someone’s life. Nor do I believe that someone’s medical condition dictates their value or dignity.

      Have you carried a child with a potentially life threatening diagnosis? Are you a healthcare provider? If not, I find it rather distasteful you would weigh in saying these loving parents, “put this little angel in so much pain”. Is this really a helpful or informed viewpoint?

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” What a precious ray of sunshine, this is your child. Full of life and love, she is all God created her to be, no more, no less. “She is fearfully and wonderfully made” Psalm 139:14 I praise God for Harper every day.


  2. Haley this is beautifully written. You are so right about this being a personal decision. I have loved following this journey since Teresa shared the news with me. Harper has already touched so many lives. Who knows what God’s plans are for this sweet child but while she is here she will no doubt be loved.

    Liked by 1 person

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